"Andrew wanted to be with an influencer. He thought you would get him into a cool party or two and snag him free stuff. He wanted to use you -- nothing else.”

“I know, and I did those things.” He cringed, thinking about the free shit he’d brought home to Andrew and the parties he’d allowed Andrew to attend as his plus one.

“And when the opportunities dried up?”

“He left with Stephen.”

“Exactly.”

Maurice didn’t have to be so correct. “Thanks.” Sam sagged in his office chair. “I feel so much better."

“You should. You deserve better than that crumb.” Maurice shrugged. “I never liked Andrew.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Of course you hate him. You were in a great relationship with Lamar when I was with Andrew. You wanted to be the happy one -- not me.”

“Wrong.” Maurice waved his hand. “Lamar isn’t a person, and he wasn’t a good match for me.” He stood. “I need to show you something.”

“What? I’ve seen your dick.” Sam remained seated. “What is it?”

“You loved seeing my cock, but no.” Maurice dragged Sam to his feet. “Keys?”

“Are we going somewhere?” He should get his column and blog posts done.

“Yes. Leave your phone and stuff. We won’t need them, and I’ve got the keys.” Maurice practically danced out of the room. “I’ve wanted to show you this for ages.”

“It’s not your dick?” He allowed Maurice to drag him out of his office, then through their shared condominium to the back patio. “Are we going to the beach?” He wasn’t dressed for an afternoon in the sun. “Maurice.”

“Just trust me. It’s the answer to your issues and the change you need.” Maurice hustled them down to the sandy shoreline. “Besides, you need to see this.”

“Okay.” Whatever. “What is it?”

Maurice tugged the green shell he always carried from his pocket and deposited the keys inside. He draped the shell around his neck. “So.” His green eyes glittered. “I always talk about La Mer. You think it’s Lamar, but it’s La. Mer. This is La Mer.” He gestured to Lake Erie. “The sea.”

“It’s the lake, not the sea.” Big deal. He’d seen Lake Erie every day from the kitchen window in the condo.

“Yeah, but to me it’s more.” Maurice whipped his shirt over his head. “I’m not just a musician or a drag queen.” He chucked his shorts and stepped up to the edge of the water. “Sam, I’m from La Mer.”

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re going to get arrested if anyone sees you down here naked. Why are you acting like this?” He shook his head. “Maurice.”

“You don’t get it.” Maurice bowed his head and tumbled into the lake. The splash obscured Sam’s vision for a moment. When Maurice surfaced, he shook his head and sent water droplets in every direction. He paddled and grinned. “See?”

“I do. I didn’t know you wanted to go swimming.” He plopped down in the sand. “I’ll watch.”

“No.”

“I don’t want to swim.” Maurice usually didn’t act this thickheaded.

“Ugh.” Maurice crawled out of the water.

“Why aren’t you walking? Did you cut your foot on the rocks? I told you they’re jagged through here.” He hadn’t seen Maurice injure himself. “Hey.”

Maurice left the water and settled next to Sam. Instead of his legs, a fish tail and fins had taken their place. His lower half shimmered with deep green scales and sparkles. A thin trail of green hair trailed from his navel to the upper swell of his tail. His muscles seemed more defined, but his cock was obscured. Maurice beamed. “I’ve wanted to show you this for so long.”

“I’m confused. That’s a great costume, but how did you keep it on in the water?” He stared at Maurice. His hair had tinged green and his eyes glittered. Even his facial hair had a bit of green woven in.

“Feels good to be myself.” Maurice flopped his tail in the sand. “I needed to get back to the water.”

“Right. Everyone needs to be in the water.” Maurice was so matter-of-fact. He’d stunned Sam into the ridiculous reply, but what else was he supposed to say? “I’m sorry. What’s happening? You’re punking me, right? This is a huge joke.”

The genuine hurt in Maurice’s eyes bothered Sam. “Why would I joke about this?” Maurice asked.

Sam sagged in the sand. “I’m confused. What’s going on here?”

“I’m a merman.”